Lost
by Piaohara
Summary: CONTAINS HEAVY SPOILERS!


**Lost- „Kratos x Anna"**

**_Hold on to me love  
You know i can't stay long  
All i wanted to say was i love you and i'm not afraid  
Can you hear me?  
Can you feel me in your arms?_**

I couldn't feel anything right now. My body was paralysed and my head was empty. My body shook like never before and I tried to run. I tried to run, but none of my feet did one step further.

Earlier I was to pride to allow myself to cry. And now?  
Now I wasn't able just to count my tears, which still ran down over my cheek.

My tears were cold, cold like ice. They seemed to melt with my face.

Everything hurt. My cheeks were close to the colour white.

I felt sick. I had a totally pale face, unable to control what I was doing.

My eyes were opening wide and expressionless.

I couldn't feel my heart beating anymore...

**_Holding my last breath  
Safe inside myself  
Are all my thoughts of you  
Sweet raptured light it ends here tonight_**

I tried to rescue my son at the same time I tried to fetch back her.

My chest was all wet with my tears, mixed with my blood.

Blood, which ran down from my shoulder above whole my body.

I was undecided but even hysterical.

I took my blade and tried to save Lloyd.

That was mad, all of this.

I had to save Lloyd from his mother.

_No_, I told myself, _not from his mother. This is not her!_

I didn't want to believe that this 'monster' was my wife.

It couldn't be her.

It couldn't be my beloved wife.

**_I'll miss the winter  
A world of fragile things  
Look for me in the white forest  
Hiding in a hollow tree (come find me)  
I know you hear me  
I can taste it in your tears_**

But, how much I even wanted to suppress it;  
She was my wife! This 'monster' was my wife!

This realization let me put down my blade and shrunk into something little.

I couldn't do anything.

I couldn't protect my son, my precious, beloved son...

I was a horrible father.

I wasn't able to save him. To give him a future.

A future with his mother.

And all this just because of my weakness.

**_Holding my last breath  
Safe inside myself  
are all my thoughts of you  
Sweet raptured light it ends here tonight_**

A memory came back to me shortly.

I saw myself, holding my wife in my arms.

The pain rose in my chest into something unbearable.

I was too weak, too weak to bear those memories...

Since this moment I got nothing more into my head.

The last I heard was Anna's Voice that called '_Kill me! I won't go on like this! Please, kill me_!'.

The last I saw was how I tried to catch Anna's apparent dead body and my little son with my bloody hands.

And I was unable to catch them, hold them in my arms.

I lost whole my life in a few minutes.

I lost Anna.

I lost Lloyd.

I lost everything.

_I still feel your breath on my skin. I still hear your voice. I still feel your sweet touches. I can see your lovely moves. But I won't see it. Because you're gone. I have nothing more worth to live for._

_I want myself to die. I can't bear a life without you._

_Our son's gone. Horrible, that am I. I should have never become a 'Dad'. It would have been better for Lloyd never to be born. It would have been better for you, never meeting me._

_But it happened.  
We met each other._

_He was born._

_Can I keep myself alive with thoughts at you, at him, in a fantasy world?  
Can I?_

_I don't think so._

_I wanna drown myself in my sorrow..._

_There is nothing for me, expect this empty darkness._

_Is that my fate?  
Yes?  
Then I'll accept._

_I'll wait till seeing you again... in death._

_(That it was. I hope you won't worry about Grammar- or Writing-Mistakes; I'm German. But I also love TOS and guess I have the right to write in English laughs  
Well, this fanfiction I wrote, because I...? Yeah, as I see there is no special reason why I wrote it. I have a fanfiction in German, too, about Kratos's life. It's so sad. I think, I'll translate in English, but that needs much time... Anyway, I don't own TOS, nor the characters or the song/lyrics... The lyric is from 'Evanescence' - Holding my last Breath ... Hope you enjoy.  
Please review.)_


End file.
